To our friends in the Fellowship:

There are actually some very good reasons that the 23rd Annual Unexpected letter is a tad on the late side this year.

First, Lester had a vasectomy in the spring. Complications set in. Apparently, the wood glue used to suture Lester's incision slid down into an uncomfortable location. Needless to say, Lester has been in agony ever since the glue dried. As you could imagine, I have had my hands full with Lester ever since.

Second, I've spent the last couple of months considering a life in the priesthood. Obviously, I decided against it. I am attributing it to a brief desire to spend time with 10 year old altarboys

Third, I believe I have been the victim of an alien abduction. These abductions occurred in the middle of the night and are centered around the reproductive organs. I have come to this conclusion based on the evidence that remained on the sheets when the morning came.

Well, I could go on for hours, but I think I've made my point as to why this letter is late.

Bottom Line -- The date of the Unexpected Party is July 26th, 27th, and 28th. Tit and the Knockers will be there, Lester will be there - even with his problem - and everyone else in the Fellowship is going to be here.

By the way, I have been assured that the weather is going to be be perfect the entire weekend!! Well, I am going to conclude now. Stay well and drive carefully!!

Your Friend from the Shire,

Frodo